“If your skin is on the shiny side, stop by your local Starbucks, grab a handful of those brown napkins, and shove them in your purse. … and they’re free,” suggested a beauty tip in a popular health and fitness magazine. “And, don’t feel guilty about pilfering from the coffee conglomerate. If they’re charging four bucks for some java and steamed milk, they owe you a shine-free face.”
Do they? Does a store owner or company owe you anything more than products your purchase in their store? Are there unlimited free products boundaries … or are we entitled to as much as we want? When does “free” become “theft?
“Authentic values are those by which a life can be lived which can form a people that produces great deeds and thoughts,” insists Alan Bloom, author of Closing of the American Mind. His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, adds, “A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity.”
Does doing what members of Alcoholics Anonymous call “the next right thing” shift if we think we are justified, entitled, or in a position to get away with it without anyone else noticing? When Tiger Woods’s marriage crumbled in front of a global audience, he admitted, “I stopped living according to my core values. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but thought only about myself and thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to.”
I have never seen personal commitment to one’s core values unravel so quickly as they do in posts across social media. Political campaigns and discussion about controversial issues deteriorate into mudslinging, name-calling, and cyberbullying. I am cautious when I share my opinion about important social issues on social media because I don’t want to be attacked with vicious remarks by those who feel it is their duty to set me straight.
When confronted with a moral choice, we must keep in mind two realities: (1) We are free to choose how we respond and (2) we are responsible for our choices. Our choices are fueled by our core values. Scott Rae, author of Moral Choices: An Introduction to Ethics, explains that when we experience a conflict of two or more value- or virtue-driven interests, we experience an ethical dilemma.
A 2010 study revealed college students choose role models who have passion and inspire others, clear core values, commitment to the community, selflessness, and ability to overcome obstacles (Price-Mitchell). Who are your role models? What qualities do your role models possess that are aligned with their values?
In order to make choices that are aligned with your core values, consider the following suggestions:
Each day invites us into opportunities to become fuller expressions of the Divine. Our actions and words become models for those around us, and especially, for our children. Character-shaping programs in schools provide our children with opportunities to discover and discuss core values, but ultimately, the values our children learn and model will be the values they hear and see in the words and actions of those they admire.
What qualities and principles do you embrace that are grounded in your core values?
Young people learn how to act in ways that align with core values by watching adults. Set a positive example with tips from How to Be a Good Role Model.
Tune out old negative thoughts. Discover how to Replace Old Tapes with New Messages.
Turn a sad mood around with these suggestions from 8 Ways to Feel More Positive.